Keeping it Real

This is now my second time to be a stay-at-home-mom ful time. The
difference between the satisfaction I felt the last time and now is
HUGE! And you know what? It has absolutely nothing to do with how my
husband behaves, it has everything to do with my own attitude and most
importantly my walk with God.

Now let me preface this by saying that one, motherhood is hard and I'm
not perfect and don't always have the best attitude and two any
remarks made about my husband are how I felt because of my bad
attitude and are not meant as a cut-down to him.

I used to sit around at home all day mostly on the computer and
playing with my daughter. I wouldn't clean all day except til about an
hour before steven came home then I'd run around like crazy making it
look like I'd done something. He agreed to let me stay home as long as
I kept the house up, so you can only imagine his feelings toward me
since he was working 12 hour days to allow me to stay home and I want
even doing what I was supposed to do. I used to be so mad that he
would come home and be in a grouchy mood. A mood that I most likely
perceived to be there though it may not have actually been there. I
began to harbor resentment for his not helping me out around the house
even though the responsibility was really mine. And it was completely
my fault for letting my house become the mess it was. Writing this now
I can see that I ws focussing the disapointment I had in myself on my
husband.

Now what made such a big difference?One day I asked him a simple
question "how do you feel about your job?" I'd always thought he loved
it since he'd come home and think about work so much, plus he was do
darned good at it! His answer astounded me "Its just a job, the
money's nice, but it's certainly not my ideal job". I was amazed. Then
it hit me. I'd been complaining and harboring resentment toward a man
that worked almost 68 hour work weeks, and gave up his dreams just so
that o can have my dream of staying home and selling things I've made.
Talk about an attitude changer!! Now when I get to feelin miserable
with staying home and such I look back on his answer to that one
simple question. I think it's something every stay-at-home-mom should
ask her husband. Or every wife for that matter.