I know anyone who at least knows that there have been some changes in my life recentl are curious to find out what's going on. I've decided to write this blog post so that everyone will at least know a little bit, and be able to be understanding and supportive. I am not writing this for people to be judgemental, to try and figure out the intimate details for themselves, or to have people pity me because of what has happened. I just want to answer questions all at once.
I have decided to separate from my husband for a while. We are truly trying to better our relationships with God, and then come together to really give our marriage a fighting chance. There have been some indescretions, but I don't blame him at all for what he did. I was a terrible wife to him and caused him a lot of pain just as he did me. Now, do not sit there and tell me that i'm not the one to blame and he's this big aweful person. I'm not the ONE to blame, we both are. He is an amazing man who slid away from God. Please don't act like you know what was going on with us, because you don't. Only S and I know what our marriage was like. We became truly toxic to each other. Neither one of us was ready to support the other to have a better relationship with Christ.
All of that said, I'm extremely excited to see what direction God is going to take this. It has been something absolutely earth shattering, but my hope is that we both learn to rely on God and let him create an amazing marriage that glorifies Him in everything we do. WE just needed time appart to work on ourselves. I'm now staying in SC with my family for a while. Im not sure how long it will be, but hopefully not too long. My guess would be a month minimum.
I'm writing this to beg for your prayers and emotional support. I don't want to rehash the past, and i don't want anyone bad-mouthing me or him. Things happened and we are working hard to forgive each other. Please pray that God will quickly restore our marriage and give us each the strength to forgive each other. Please also pray for others around us to be forgiving. Please pray that we will be able to forgive ourselves for the actions that led to the demise of our marriage. We've each got to learn how to best be supportive of the other, and how to allow God to be the ruler over our home.
Now as far as LBB goes, I have all of my sewing things with me, but it's all in a box now. I've got to figure out who I'm going to be staying with (right now I'm with my parents but they have no room whatsoever). I should have everything unpacked and organized within a week or two. I'll be posting things i've made to craigslist and selling more in the area. I'll also be doing Photography as a means of supporting myself. I can do product photography as well as portraits. I'm working on getting my portpholio (flickr) updated and will be doing shoots with a few friends and family so you can see what I can do. Please feel free to email if you're interested.
Thanks to everyone for your prayers and understanding during this time.